Growing up · 18 months to 5 years

Potty training: what helps, and what doesn't?

7 min read3 sources · accessed on 26 September 2026

The short answer

The most honest answer is one word: wait. ERIC, the UK's children's bowel and bladder charity, looks at signs of readiness instead of a fixed age: staying dry for about two hours, being aware of a wee or a poo, being willing to cooperate.¹ Pressure doesn't bring it on sooner; it can raise everyone's frustration. And a regional NHS service advises starting at a time without other big changes, such as moving house, a new baby or starting nursery.²

The word

What the word “training” suggests

“Potty training”: the phrase is everywhere, and it suggests that an adult can teach a child to use the toilet. ERIC puts readiness at the centre instead: signs in the child's body and behaviour, rather than an age or a method.¹

It's a maturing of the body, which you can support. There's no method to apply, and no timetable brings it on sooner.

In practice, that's a relief: if there's nothing to teach, you can't get it wrong either, except by pushing.

This page looks at the whole path, day and night. If you're mainly wondering whether your child is ready to come out of nappies, our page Out of nappies answers that practical question.

The path

What becomes possible, and when

Signs instead of a birthday. ERIC's signs of readiness: your child stays dry for about two hours, notices when they're doing a wee or a poo, and is willing to cooperate.¹

The order is often the same. In many children, poos go in the potty a little before wees, and dry nights come last.

The normal range is wide. Some children are out of nappies much earlier than others, and each goes at their own pace. Comparing with a cousin or a friend at nursery tells you nothing about your own child.

A good moment helps. A regional NHS service advises not starting at the same time as other big changes: moving house, a new brother or sister, starting nursery.²

Without pressure

What doesn't work, and what's often forgotten

Pushing. Rushing your child, keeping them sitting on the potty, comparing them with others: it all turns a developmental step into a trial, for them and for you.

Telling off. A child who has an accident isn't doing it on purpose, and shame doesn't help them.

Setbacks. They're part of the path, even after a long dry spell. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, big life changes can lead to steps backwards, and emotional causes are hard to spot because young children can't yet put fear or confusion into words.³

And a link that's often forgotten: constipation and wetting are connected. If your child is often constipated and wets during the day or at night, talk to your GP or paediatrician.

Debates

Where the experts disagree

On this subject, experts argue less about how to do it than about the words, and about one movement that takes the opposite view. Three approaches:

Approach	What it says	What it means for the story
ReadinessERIC, The Children's Bowel & Bladder Charity	Look for signs of readiness rather than an age: dry for about two hours, aware of a wee or poo, willing to cooperate.	The story practises a routine, without naming an age.
Emotional developmentAmerican Academy of Pediatrics	Emotional causes behind potty problems are hard to see; big changes can bring setbacks.	The hero is never praised for managing it, nor told off for not managing it.
Nappy-freesupporters of elimination communication	From the first months, babies give signals adults can learn to read. Paying attention to them means hardly needing nappies.	Doesn't appear in our stories, for lack of an independent source.

What everyone agrees on

Each child becomes dry at their own pace.
Poos often come before wees, days before nights.
Pressure, punishment and shame do harm and don't help.
Setbacks are part of the path and deserve no penalty.
Wet nights in young children are part of normal development.

The point of debate is elimination communication. Its supporters argue that babies signal their needs and that adults can read them. The mainstream view, as ERIC puts it, looks to signs of readiness in the child instead.¹ We found no independent source that shows the nappy-free approach works.

We recommend nothing here. Our stories rest on the common ground, and it's clear: support, don't push.

When a book isn't enough

Have your child checked if they're over five and not dry although they want to be; if they start wetting again after a long dry spell; if they're upset about it or being teased; if the stream is weak or comes in spurts; or if they're often constipated and wetting at the same time.

That last point is the one most often forgotten. Your GP, public health nurse or health visitor, or paediatrician is the first contact.

The story

How a story can help

For a two-year-old, the way to the toilet has more steps than adults see: noticing, stopping what they're doing, going, finding their way, being able to wait. A story can walk through that chain once, at a moment when nothing is at stake.

In a personalised book, one rule opens every one of our stories:

The child is never proud of being quick. What counts is the routine, and accidents are part of it.

1-2
The hero's world
The child as they are, with their things and their days.
3
Something new in the bathroom
A potty or a toilet seat is there. Nothing has to happen yet.
4
Just sitting
Dressed, for a moment, with no expectation. The place becomes familiar.
5
The signal
The body speaks up. The story describes what it feels like.
6
Too late
This time it doesn't work. The story says so, and nobody makes a fuss.
7
Going back
No consequence, no drama. Just the next try.
8
The first time
It works. Noticed calmly, without applause.
9
And then not
Setbacks are part of the way, and the book says so clearly.
10
Their own routine
Noticing, going, waiting, washing hands. Always in the same order.
11
Somewhere else
An unfamiliar toilet. The routine works there too.
12
The night
Nights take longer, and the nappy stays for now. That's fine.
13
Without thinking
One day the child simply goes, in the middle of a game.
14
The end
Nobody taught them. The child learnt when they were ready.

The potty story, with your child's name

Describe your child in a few words, and the story follows exactly this path, in the illustration style you choose. You read all of it for free before you decide.

Read the story for free

Questions

Frequently asked questions

How do I know my child is ready for potty training?

ERIC, the UK's children's bowel and bladder charity, names three signs: your child stays dry for about two hours, is aware when they're doing a wee or a poo, and is willing to cooperate. Those signs matter more than a particular birthday.

Does starting early help?

Pushing doesn't bring it on sooner. It's better to wait until your child shows they're ready and then support them without pressure. A regional NHS service also advises not starting at the same time as a move, a new baby or starting nursery.

My child was dry and now has accidents again. Why?

Setbacks are part of the path. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that big life changes can lead to steps backwards, and that emotional causes are hard to spot, because young children can't yet put fear or confusion into words.

My child wets and is constipated. Is there a link?

There can be, and it's a link that's often forgotten. Talk to your GP or paediatrician.

When should we get help?

If your child is over five and not dry although they want to be, starts wetting again after a dry spell, is upset about it, or has a weak stream. And never tell a child off for accidents.

References

Sources

1.ERIC, The Children's Bowel & Bladder Charity: Guide to potty training.What it confirms: Signs of readiness instead of a fixed age: dry for about two hours, aware of bladder and bowel, willing to cooperate.
2.Derbyshire Family Health Service (NHS): Potty training.What it confirms: Best to start without other big changes at the same time, such as moving house, a new sibling or starting nursery.
3.American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org: Emotional Issues and Bathroom Problems.What it confirms: Emotional causes of potty problems are hard to recognise because young children can't put fear or confusion into words; big life changes can lead to setbacks.

Sources accessed on 26 September 2026. Is something missing or out of date? Write to us and we'll correct it, with the date.

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