Growing up · ages 3 to 7
My child is scared of monsters and the dark: what helps?
8 min read2 sources · accessed on 26 September 2026
The short answer
Why at this age
Fears are part of normal development, and each age has its own. Nightmares and night-time fears are common from about 18 months and usually harmless.1 Between four and six, ghosts and monsters are the most common things children fear.2
The trigger is a step forward in development. A child who can picture a monster has gained the ability they will soon need to make up stories of their own.
Research on night-time fears adds a finding: children aged four to six who are very frightened at night mix up imagination and reality more than others. The harder the distinction, the stronger the fear.2
In practice: the fear gets smaller as your child learns to tell imagination from reality. Proof from an adult doesn't change that.
What helps at bedtime
Comfort first. When your child wakes from a bad dream, the NHS advice is simple: comfort and reassure them.1 A nightlight or a door left ajar lets them know someone is close by. Unspectacular advice, and that's its strength.
The same order every evening. A fixed routine takes away the question of what comes next. When you know how the evening ends, there's less room for what might happen in between.
Talk about it during the day. At night your child is in fear mode and learns nothing. By day, they can tell you what the monster looks like, how big it is, where it hides. If they can draw it, they've already got a bit of a hold on it.
What doesn't help: proving there's nothing there, laughing, and the sentence “monsters don't exist”. Mostly, it tells your child that the biggest problem of their evening hasn't been heard.
Monster spray: does it help, or make the monster real?
The idea is well known: a spray bottle filled with water, called monster spray, which your child sprays around the room at bedtime. There are variations: the cuddly guard, the anti-monster plaster, the magic words.
The first view: your child has something to do, and so a handle on the situation. Acting is better than enduring, and that's how the ritual works.
The second view: spraying a monster confirms it exists. Your child now has a weapon, but also an enemy. And on the evening the spray is missing, things are worse than before.
What the research suggests, without proving it: if strong night-time fears go with a weaker distinction between imagination and reality,2 that points against rituals that treat the imagined as real. We found no direct comparison of the two approaches, so we claim no result.
The compromise that seems most workable to us: give your child something to do that says nothing about whether the monster exists. A torch by the bed, a light they're allowed to switch on, a teddy that keeps watch. Doing something, with no proof either way.
Where the experts disagree
Nobody disputes that these fears are normal and part of development. Opinions differ on how to handle them at bedtime. Three approaches:
| Approach | What it says | What it means for the story |
|---|---|---|
| DevelopmentNHS | Nightmares and night-time fears are common from about 18 months and usually harmless. They pass with development. | Presence and simple means: comfort, a little light, a door ajar. No proof, no drama. |
| Controlcommon parenting advice, monster spray and similar rituals | What a child can do themselves lifts them out of helplessness. The ritual works through the action, whatever its content. | Give your child something they do themselves at bedtime. |
| Realityresearch on telling imagination from reality in night-time fears | Strong night-time fears go with a weaker distinction between imagination and reality. Rituals that treat the imagined as real might make that distinction harder. | Choose actions that say nothing about whether the monster exists: the light, the torch, being there. |
What everyone agrees on
- Fear of monsters between three and seven is normal and doesn't mean your child is anxious.
- Arguing doesn't help, because your child doesn't experience the fear as an opinion.
- Being there helps, more reliably than any prop.
- Talking about it during the day does more than at night.
- The fear passes with development, usually during the primary school years.
The open point is monster spray and everything like it. Some see a child who acts instead of freezing. Others see confirmation that there's something to fight. We found no direct comparison of the two. The compromise seems safest to us: an action that says nothing about the monster. That's a weighing of the arguments; no study establishes it.
When a book isn't enough
If the fear seems to be taking over your child's life, weighing on their days, their mood or their sleep, talk to your GP, your public health nurse or health visitor, or your paediatrician.
And a practical reason that isn't on any list: if bedtime has taken more than an hour for weeks and the whole family is worn out. That's reason enough to ask for advice, even if nothing else worries you.
How a story can help
We found no evidence that reading aloud reduces night-time fears. What is established is the link the idea rests on: the harder a child finds it to tell imagination from reality, the stronger the fear.2 A story is the place where that distinction can be practised safely, because everything in it is made up and everyone knows it.
For the story, one rule:
The monster isn't explained until it disappears. It shrinks because the child does something, and at the end it's still there, at a size you can live with.
- 1-2
The evening
Everything as usual. Teeth, book, light off. Familiar and calm.
- 3
The noise
Something creaks. Small, ordinary, still without a shape.
- 4
It has a shape
The shadow becomes something. The child sees it clearly, the adult doesn't.
- 5
Nobody believes it
The sentence “there's nothing there” is said, and it doesn't help. It's written just like that.
- 6
Alone with it
The longest page. Nothing is made pretty.
- 7
The morning
By day it's gone. The child tells what it looked like.
- 8
It gets a name
Something with a name is already smaller. The adult asks instead of telling.
- 9
The plan
The child thinks of something. Their own idea, and no weapon.
- 10
The next evening
It comes back. That was to be expected, and it isn't a step back.
- 11
The child does something
By themselves. The adult is there but doesn't step in.
- 12
Smaller
The monster doesn't vanish. It fits in a corner now.
- 13
Side by side
Both are in the room, and both are asleep. The real ending.
- 14
Some day
A night when nobody looks any more. No moral.
A story about what's in the bedroom at night
With your child's name, in the illustration style you choose. You read the whole story for free.
Create the story for freeFrequently asked questions
At what age are children scared of monsters?
Nightmares and night-time fears are common from about 18 months, according to the NHS, and usually harmless. Between four and six, ghosts and monsters are the most common fears. At this age, what a child imagines and what is real still run into each other, so these creatures really exist for them.
Should I tell my child monsters don't exist?
It does no harm, but it doesn't help either. Your child doesn't experience the fear as an opinion you can argue about. What helps more: comfort, a little light, a door ajar and someone nearby. And talking about it during the day, when the fear isn't there.
Does monster spray work?
Opinions differ. For: your child can act instead of enduring. Against: spraying confirms there's a monster. Research shows that strong night-time fears go with a weaker distinction between imagination and reality, which points against this kind of ritual. We found no direct comparison. The safest compromise: a torch by the bed, an action that says nothing about the monster.
When should I get help with a fear?
When the fear seems to be taking over and weighs on your child's days, mood or sleep: talk to your GP, your public health nurse or health visitor, or your paediatrician. And more simply, when bedtime has taken more than an hour for weeks and everyone is worn out.
Sources
- 1.NHS: Night terrors and nightmares.What it confirms: Nightmares and night terrors are common from about 18 months, usually harmless; comfort and reassure the child.
- 2.Chen, Y. et al. (2022): Research on Alleviating Children's Nighttime Fear Using a Digital Game. Open access.What it confirms: How common night-time fears are, their peak between four and six, ghosts and monsters as the most common fears at that age, and the finding that very fearful children tell imagination from reality less well.
Sources accessed on 26 September 2026. Is something missing or out of date? Write to us and we'll correct it, with the date.
Related topics
- My child won't go to bedWhy bedtime turns into a battle, and what a bedtime routine changes.
- My child wakes up at nightWaking at night is normal: the real question is how your child gets back to sleep.
- Naming feelingsWhy a three-year-old has feelings without the words for them, and what's really established about naming them. Including where the research contradicts itself.
- All topicsFrom potty training to saying goodbye.
All topics
Body and everyday life
With other people
Changes and family
Goodbyes, illness, death
Self-confidence
At a glance: the illustration styles and how it works.